From Fantasy to Reality
by I'mnotanecropheliac
Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.
1. Chapter 1

Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.

Disclaimer: Oh how I wish they were mine. But alas they are not.

Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.

"Josh I have to go," she yelled from her desk. She had never yelled much before. Now it was just habit.

"Go where?" he responded appearing in the bullpen.

She turned to look at him for only a second. She balanced file upon file. She finished typing a note on her computer. And put on her coat. All at the same time.

"Jess has a doctor's appointment," she muttered with files in her mouth.

"Can't Sarah take her to that?"

"Josh a nanny is not a substitute for a parent," she retorted, as she quickly swigged the rest of her coffee from her "Best Mom in the World" mug.

"I thought that was exactly what nannies were for," he muttered, as he took the notes she had handed him in her panic.

"Can we possibly do this later?" she asked looking at her watch and grabbing her purse. "I'm late."

"Sure," his said grinning viciously. "Give Jess a kiss for me."

She nodded and began to walk out. "I will."

"Wait do you know where my black folder is?" he shouted after her.

She ran back into the bullpen and pulled a folder off her desk and handed it to him.

"Thank you Donna," he answered.

"Bye," she said and gave him a quick kiss on the check.

That's when he woke up.

He walked into work that morning feeling a little frustrated by his dream the night before. He didn't want to try and analyze it. He was trying very hard not to think about it. But all he was capable of thinking of was the dream he had had the night before and what it might possibly mean.

"Hi Josh," Donna said as she walked past him to her desk.

He stopped dead in his tracks. "What did you say?"

She looked at him puzzled. "I said '_Hi Josh_'."

"Oh," he muttered slowly.

She turned her eyes from him and looked back at the notes on her desk. "Sarah Canaly called for you."

"Who?" Josh asked as though he had never heard the name before. It had touched him as perhaps meaningful and haunting that her name was Sarah. Then he knew he was reading too much into it.

"Sarah Canaly from the WRA," she told him still looking at him with a speculative ideal of his possible insanity.

"Why's she calling me at 6:30 in the morning?"

"You have a meeting with her at eight," Donna answered.

"Oh."

"That's all."

He stood in front of her for a moment. The night's dream vivid in his present state. Looking at her he continued to wonder if she would look any different as a mother.

She looked up at him after a moment. "Do you need some help Josh?"

He phased back into reality. "Huh? What?"

"Would you like some assistance Josh or are you planning on standing there all day?"

"Oh." He moved then to his office.

She rose and followed him. "Are you okay?"

"What?" he asked when he missed her question.

She was worried. "Is there something going on?"

"No," he said confidently, trying to seem casually distracted by something of little to no meaning whatsoever to Donna. "No, no, no, no, no," he only continued to defeat the point.

She began to back out of the room. "Okay then."

He wouldn't look at her or make eye contact. He was trying very very hard to pretend she wasn't around. Only succeeding by increasing his nervous behavior.

She stared at for him a moment, head tilted, curious as to what had turned him to this state. Then she turned back to her desk shacking her head.

Josh stood in his office for a moment repeating over and over in his mind, "IT MEANS NOTING! NOTHING! COME ON... I MEAN... NO NO IT MEANS NOTHING!"

He was getting nowhere.

Donna stood in front of Josh's office moments later. Finding him still standing with his jacket on staring into space.

"Josh?" she began softly.

"Huh?" he answered looking up.

She pointed to the phone. "Line 2."

He looked bewildered. "What!"

"Sarah Canaly," she said throwing her hands into the air.

"Oh," he said and began to take of his jacket. "Yeah thanks."

She began to back out of the room.

"Wait Donna," he said calmly.

She turned.

"Did she say what she wanted?"

She merely shrugged, "No."

He said down at his desk and answered the phone.

"Hello?" he began.


	2. Womanly advice

Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.

Disclaimer: If only they were mine. I would go crazy. Stalker crazy. But sadly they aren't.

Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.

Half an hour later Donna knocked on his door. "You have Senior Staff in five."

He looked up from his desk. He held out a hand telling her to wait. "Okay I'll see what I can do." He finished his phone call, and swung around the room to Donna.

"Hi Donna," he began.

She looked at him oddly. "_Hello_." she remarked slowly and sarcastically.

"I have a thing," he tried to tell her. He stood up and began to walk towards the Oval Office. He was trying very hard not to look at her and very hard not to touch her.

She had no idea what he was talking about. "Care to elaborate?"

"If you were to date a woman..."

"If I were to date a woman?" she asked him with bewildered awe. "Well I don't know where you're going with this Josh but I've gotta tell you I'm not really into that..."

"Just humor me."

"Kay," she responded.

"Let's say you'd known this woman for a long time," he tried once more. "And you only just discovered that you like her, or at least that you're pretty sure you like her. How would you seduce her?"

"Josh are you asking me for pick up tips!"

"What? No!" he answered her quickly. "I'm asking you for advice. If you were a woman..."

"If I were a woman!" she answered him. "Well you really are flattering this morning Josh."

"How would you want to be seduced?" he asked trying very hard to ignore her sarcasm.

She stared at him with glaring eyes. "Josh who is this woman that you have known for long time and are pretty sure you have recently discovered you might like?"

"Just..." he couldn't tell her the truth but if he told her a lie. "See there's the other problem. A relationship with this particular woman would involve potential P.R. problems for the party."

"Is she a Republican?" Donna asked in humored-horror.

Josh looked at her with confused eyes. "No. Why would you even think that?"

"Josh, this is a woman who you have known for a long time who you have only recently discovered that you might possibly like and who would cause P.R. problems for the Democratic party. If you want my advice I might need a little more information."

"Never mind," he huffed having reached the Oval. "I'll see you later."

She backed into the hall. She really didn't want to know who the woman might be. And she defiantly didn't want more information.

"Hey C.J.," Josh followed her after Senior Staff.

"Yes Josh?" She remarked in a cheerful but distracted tone.

He smiled and paced along side her. "I was wondering if I could get some advice."

"I am at your service," she told him with a slight and sarcastic bow.

"Right," Josh remarked skeptically. "I pretty much discovered this morning that I have a particular attraction to this woman who I have known for a really long time and I was wondering if you could tell me how to let her know my intentions without actually making any advances?" He asked the question with particular haste. He then stood in her office and waited for her to respond.

"Let her know your intention without making any advances?" C.J. repeated.

"Yes," Josh answered. "See there are certain ethical issues that may come into question if I make advances." He felt he had to clarify.

"Seriously Josh!" C.J. questioned. "I haven't really been paying that much attention to you've just said but I'm pretty sure that whatever it is you are planning on doing it's a bad idea. So just avoid any impulses you may have."

"That's your advice!"

"What did you expect?" C.J. said and ran out of her office. "Carol I need that folder on the Richardson Case."

Carol nodded, and began to search through some folders.

C.J. looked at Josh. "Seriously can this wait until later?"

Josh nodded. "Sure." He began to walk back to his own office. "Pretend I never even asked."

He walked slowly.

"Josh," Donna suddenly swooped in beside him.

He jumped. "You really like to sneak up on people."

"I'm very stealthy," she responded. "Who was that woman you were talking about earlier?"

He looked at her, not really paying attention. He was trying very hard not to think about how beautiful she looked. He was trying very hard not to imagine what it might feel like to kiss her. He was not being very successful.

"What?" he asked after a moments pause.

"The woman you were talking about?"

He was actually surprised she hadn't figured it out. "I practically spelt it out for you."

"You did not!" she yelled at him. "The woman who you are pretty sure you like who you have known for a long time who will cause major P.R. problems for the party who is not a Republican and who you may or may not want to seduce? This is you're way of spelling it out for me."

"After further analysis," he began jumping around his office and grabbing different papers and fills, not looking at her while he spoke. "I can tell you that I am positive that I have feelings for this particular woman and that if I knew she had the same feelings I would probable screw the P.R. problems," he grabbed a fill of his desk. "Really you got nothing from that?" he looked at her and smiled almost sinisterly.

"Josh," she sighed. "Some days I worry about you more than other days."

"And today?"

"I'm worried."

"Well then," Josh said as he began to pace towards the Roosevelt room. "I have a meeting with some people now, followed by meetings with more people. If I see you later I would definitely _not_ like to continue this conversation."

She stood still in her tracks. "You can't just say something like that and walk away."

He turned and looked at her only a few paces ahead. "Say what?"

"That you know you like her and you would screw the party if she liked you too," she told him. "You have to tell me who this is."

"Actually I have to work now," he paced into the Roosevelt room and she walked back to her desk.

She wanted to find out who the woman was so she could possible and most probably cause her bodily harm preventing her from reacting to whatever action Josh may or may not be planning on taking.


	3. What the heck do boys know?

Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.

Disclaimer: If only I had them. I could make them do so many more things than just the things that they do in my mind, because I would actually have them. But I don't I am sad. Damn.

Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.

Josh had a break in meetings around noon. He decided to swing by Sam's office before heading back to the bullpen.

He found both Sam and Toby sitting casually in Toby's office arguing over some content or language that was to be allowed in one of the President's up and coming speeches.

"Hey," Josh said and stood in the doorframe. "I'm not interrupting anything important am I?"

They both looked up at him.

"Not really no," Toby told him while glaring at Sam.

"Okay then," Josh said entering the room. He closed the door behind him. "I just need some advice of a personal nature."

"Of a personal nature?" Sam asked mockingly.

"What the hell?" Toby asked paying attention to neither of them and highlighting some words on the papers he was holding. He had a look that displayed complete oblivion to whatever Josh had just said and particular disgust at he had just read.

Josh couldn't believe he was about to make the same rant once more. "See I finally realized today that I am in love with this woman…"

"Wait! What? When did this happen?" Sam asked in shock.

"Well this morning," Josh told him. "I guess around ten o'clock."

"Why!" Toby shouted as he continued to read the speech.

Josh ignored him and continued, "So I'm in love with this woman but the thing is I've known her for a long time and she's a good friend."

"You have female friends," Sam asked sarcastically.

Josh ignored him. "I have really no idea how she feels about me, not to mention the fact that the nature of our long term relationship..."

"Did you just use the word relationship while making reference to a woman?" Sam asked in a humorous and teasing tone.

"Yes," Josh told him coldly. "Our relationship may cause potential P.R. problems for the President."

"She's not a Republican?" Toby asked. He had caught to words relationship and P.R. problem. His attention had suddenly been diverted to Josh.

"No why does everyone... never mind," he continued. "If I knew how she felt this wouldn't be as much of a problem. How do I find out if she likes me without telling her how I feel about her and if she doesn't like me how do I make her like me without making any advances?"

Both men stared at him for a long moment.

"What the hell?" Toby asked using the same tone he had used when reading the dilapidated phrases in the speech he had been ridiculing seconds before.

Josh finally came to his senses realizing who he was talking to. "Yeah," he scratched his back and began to open the door. "Never mind."

"Okay then," Sam replied. "You sure. I mean you seemed pretty serious. I mean you closed the door and everything."

"Don't worry. I mean... never mind..."

Josh stormed out of the room, swinging the door open and pacing back to his own office. Sam and Toby stared after him, extremely confused but didn't really take the time to reflect or even feel concern over what had just occurred.

"Hey Josh," Donna said calmly as he entered the bullpen. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine," Josh replied looking at her with an alert glare. "How 'bout you?"

"I'm just fine and dandy," she replied swiftly.

He walked into his office. "Hey Donna do you want to go for lunch?"

"What like in the Mess?" she asked pacing into the room to get some folders.

"Sure," Josh replied.

"You have to call Mark Folger first," Donna told him handing him a note.

"Who's Mark Folger?"

Donna stopped moving busily about. She stared at Josh in silence. When she suddenly paused Josh awkwardly looked towards her.

"You don't remember Mark Folger?" Donna asked half yelling at him. "Mark Folger, a guy you have been working with for at least a few years now. Mark Folger the guy you went to college with. Mark Folger your good friend. You don't remember who he is?"

"So what if I forgot who he was? I remember _now_. Why are you flipping out?"

"I worry," she said quietly.

"About me?" he asked her in an equally silent inflection.

"Yes," she replied looking at her toes.

He stared at her for a moment. He had stopped trying to not think about her. He had stopped trying not to imagine what it would be like to be with her. He had come to the realization that he loved her. All he could think about was Donna.

"That's very sweet," he told her.

She looked up, pouty with glazed eyes. "Anyway do you want me to..." She was interrupted when the phone rang. "Hello?" she answered. "Yeah." she hung up. "Leo wants to see you."

Josh got up from his desk and walked towards Leo's office.

"Has she really affected you that badly?" Donna asked following him.

"Who?" Josh asked looking at her with no idea to who she might possible be referring to.

Donna returned his look in disbelief. "The woman who you have definite feelings for and may or may not be..."

"You don't have to do the whole thing," Josh told her.

"Okay," Donna told him. "Well?"

"Well..." Josh said shrugging his shoulders. "After further reflection I had an epiphany around ten."

"Epiphany?"

"Yes."

"And this was...?"

He didn't know if he could tell her. He didn't want to tell her and then have her figure it out and know. And she did know everything, didn't she?

"That if she doesn't love me then nothing else really matters," he told her without really thinking about it.

"Loves you?" she asked in astonishment.

"Yep," he told her. He looked at Margaret. "Is he in there?"

"He's waiting for you," Margaret told him waving him inside.

He turned around to Donna. "We can finish this later."

Count on it? Donna consciously thought. God whoever this woman is she better not break his heart. I don't want to see Josh hurt.

After talking with Leo about the meeting, and reviewing whatever their game plan was, Josh started again.

"Leo can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Leo told him, looking over papers on his desk.

Josh didn't want this to be another Toby incident. He knew Leo would pay attention. He knew Leo would care just a little bit more.

"Well see around ten this morning I realized that I was in love."

"Wait slow down," Leo said looking up at him eyes dancing. "Did you just tell me that you are in love with someone?"

"Yes?" Josh said not really sure.

"Does she know yet?"

Josh shook his head. Then he paused. "Actually I'm not sure."

Leo smiled at looked back at the papers on his desk. "Okay, continue."

Josh nodded. He began to pace in front of Leo's desk. "So at ten I finally realized I'm in love with this woman and that I probably have been for a very long time."

"A long time?" Leo repeated not really giving Josh his undivided attention.

"Yes," Josh assured him. He stopped pacing and stood behind one of the chairs. "And I was just wondering how I should go about finding out how to act or not act on this new and difficult feeling."

Leo looked up from his paper. "Well I just got divorced Josh so I don't know exactly what kind of advice you want."

"Okay then," Josh said when he realized Leo wasn't going to take him seriously. He patted the back of the chair and made a leap for the door.

"You know what Josh," Leo said having turned back to his papers. "Just go for it."

"Okay," Josh said nodding. He didn't take Leo's recommendation to heart.

"Hey," Leo raised his eyes once more. "Who is this anyway?"

"Well..." Josh began. "I'm not exactly sure if you'd approve. And asking you would be a bit too much like asking for permission. And I really don't think I need you're permission to start a relationship with a woman."

"She's not a Republican is she?" Leo asked seriously.

"No," Josh said laughing. "Be assured that when I do find out if she is going to give me a try or if she is just going to think I'm a complete idiot, you will be told swiftly and personally as to who she is."

"Okay then," Leo said turning back to his papers.

"I have a meeting."

"Oh have fun," Leo said with a grin.

"Sure I get the Sarah Canaly and what do you get 'War and Peace'," Josh began to leave the office.

"Yeah." Leo replied.

Josh grimaced and left the office.


	4. My Mystery Love

Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.

Disclaimer: They should be mine. Sadly they aren't.

Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.

When Josh finally finished his meeting the staff of the West Wing had begun to dwindle. He stepped into the bullpen but before he could reach his desk a voice interrupted him.

"JOSH!" C.J. yelled. "Would you please follow me?"

She pointed with a villains grin towards her office. Josh had no idea what was going on. He followed her as though he were about to face his doom. She closed the door behind him.

"Joshua," she began slowly. "Am I to believe that you have recently discovered the suppressed feelings that you have been long experiencing..."

Josh was pretty sure she was trying to repeat his rant. "C.J. I know how it goes..."

"Are you in love with Donna?" she asked him bluntly.

Josh was a little stunned. "Yeeesss..."

"Josh!" she yelled and slapped him on the back of his head. "What you do is a reflection of the President! What the hell are you thinking?"

"Owww..." he howled. "First of all C.J, I haven't done anything yet. So there isn't anything wrong with my conduct... and secondly I don't see how pursuing a possible relationship with someone who I might possible want to spend the rest of my life with is a bad reflection of the President or even any of his business."

"Josh?"

"Yeah?"

"You know you're voice got really high pitched at the end there," C.J. said in a serious tone. Josh nodded. "Well..." she paused to think. "I find it my responsibility as the Press Secretary to tell you to do nothing..." she paused again. She saw Josh getting ready to yell at her again. "But as a friend," she began again. "I feel obligated to tell you to go for it."

"Go for it!" Josh yelled. "That's your expert advice. I mean Leo said the same thing but you know I was expecting a little more substance."

"You were talking to Leo about this!" C.J. yelled at him again.

Josh felt quezzy. "I didn't use specifics."

C.J. snorted at his remark and sat down at her desk. "Well... I really don't know what to tell you... But good luck... And if anyone ever asks, we never had this conversation."

"Well C.J." Josh began in a sarcastic tone. "Thanks for all the help there. I'm sure it will sweep her off her feet."

"Get out," C.J. said pointing towards the door.

"Joshua..." Donna called when she saw him.

He turned to look at her with the vague feeling he was about to be played. "Yes?"

"I have something to ask you."

"Okay." He still had the eerie feeling that she was about to bounce. There was something coming up that he would have to wade through for the rest of the day, or longer.

"About the WRA," she told him.

He sensed the danger. Waging any kind of war against woman's issues had never been his strong suit. Plus it was bound to make Donna mad. "Okay."

"Well you haven't been sleeping with Sarah Canaly have you?"

The question came quickly. Josh made an automatic response. "No… What the hell?"

"I ask because I don't think you know any other women," Donna continued without a pause. "Except C.J. and the First Lady….And the First Lady is married to the President so if you have fallen in love with her I would try very hard to let it go… You're not in love with C.J. are you?"

"What?" Josh yelled. "No… And I know plenty of women."

"Well not any others who fall under the same category as your mystery lover," Donna told him pointedly.

"Mystery lover?" Josh asked sarcastically.

"Well what would you call her?" Donna asked him.

He smiled at her. She was beautiful. She was intelligent. She was gorgeous. She was Donna. And God he loved her.

"I know plenty of woman who fall under the mystery woman category," he told her as he took a folder off his desk.

She followed him to the Oval Office. "Liz is married. Ellie's not your type. And Zoeys' to young for you."

"What's your obsession with the First Family?" Josh asked, as he walked.

"Seriously who is this woman?" Donna asked not trying to hide her distain.

"Well I have to go meet with the President for a moment but when I'm done you can go home."

"Josh!" she yelled as he stepped into the Oval Office.

"Think harder," he replied as he left her sight.

Donna stood still for a moment.

"Donna, are you okay?" Charlie asked when she didn't move.

She stumbled from her trance. "What… yeah…" She began to move back to her desk. "Hey Charlie do you know any of Josh's female friends?"

Charlie looked up at her with a smile. "Josh's mystery woman getting you down?"

Donna didn't respond. She turned and left.


	5. Finely some worthwhile advice!

Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.

Disclaimer: They are mine. They are mine. Rats no they aren't. I thought maybe if I said it over and over… but no… I am sad…

Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.

"Okay what' next?" The President asked as they neared the end of their meeting. No one spoke. "Nothing, good."

"Thank you Mr. President," they responded in unison and made their way towards the door.

"Hey Josh," the President said waving for him to stay.

Josh turned around and walked back towards him. "Yes sir?"

"What's this I hear about you and some mystery woman?"

Josh stood in horror. Had news of his lovesickness traveled to the President was he actually going to have to tell the President that he was in love with his assistant?

"Well yes sir there is a woman…" Josh didn't know how to explain without sounding stupid. He sounded stupid 89 of the time but when he was talking to the President he tried his best to minimize his insanity.

"Do you love her?" the President asked.

Josh stared at him for a moment. "Yes sir."

The President smiled. Then there was a pause. "Well go tell her." The President waved to the door.

Josh smiled. He was sure the President had just hinted at knowing the truth. He was sure that the President had given him a green light.

"Yes sir," Josh said running towards the door.

"And Josh," the President stopped him. Josh turned to look at him. "If you break her heart I'll have you assassinated."

Josh laughed. "Yes sir."

"Go!"

Josh leaped towards his office. He was going to do it. He had to do it. It wasn't just a dream. He loved her. He loved Donna.


	6. I'm over denial, really I am

Summary: After a night of dreaming Josh tries to avoid facing his feelings, only to stumble into some truth.

Disclaimer: Okay I admit it. They will never be mine. I want to cry. Damn. Rats. I want them…

Author's note: I hope you love this as much as I loved writing it.

"Donna?" Josh yelled when he reached the bullpen.

She got up quickly. "What? What's wrong?"

He looked at her, just stared for a moment. There was a silence as they looked into each other's eyes. They were vulnerable. They saw each other. Finally saw each other. And without words they told each other how they felt.

"You look beautiful," Josh whispered breaking the silence.

She smiled. She felt tears crawling down her cheeks. She couldn't let this happen. There was too much risk. There was too much to lose.

"Thank you," she said and tried to break his gaze.

He took a step forward stopping her from moving from his eyesight. He took her hand. He looked at her cheeks streamed with tears. He was sure. He had to tell her. Even if she didn't love him, he couldn't spend another day not knowing.

She wouldn't look at him. He took her chin and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Donna, I love you." He couldn't believe he had said it. There was a brief silence. Then Josh leaned in and kissed her gently and sweetly.

When he backed up to see her eyes once more she was smiling but crying even harder.

"I love you too," she said with ease.

He looked at her and smiled, feeling his own eyes fill with water. "Please if this is a dream don't let me wake up."

She looked at him skeptically. But before he could explain she was kissing him again. She didn't care how much they could lose. All she could think about was how much they had to gain.

They finally saw each other. And they both knew love was just a racing dream from which you never wake.


End file.
